Cookies

Cookies are pretty much amazing.  They are small servings of a dessert in a compact and portable fashion.  Their convenience is only part of their luxury.  How many times have you grabbed a cookie when you were heading out of a room or your house?  If this were a class room, I expect everyone to be raising their hand.  Or no one to be, as it is a rhetorical question.  Either way, if you have never done this, you have not lived.

Eating cookies on the go is a favorite past time of mine.  Whether it be out the door or just to another location in the house.  Also, it is mandatory to put a cookie in your mouth and another cookie when you leave the kitchen.  It is the whole concept of "one for the road".  I guess, this can be seen as a simple-minded American being a fatty, but oh well.  I rather do enjoy eating cookies.

I love making cookies almost as much as eating them.  I love eating the batter, there's just something about the batter that is about ten times better than cake batter (it's not better than brownie batter, however, NOTHING beats that shit.. and by "shit" I mean it in the cool "that's the shit" kind of way, not the literal meaning...).  I think it is because it can be molded into a ball of pleasure for your taste buds and then it just gets all warm and gooey in your mouth.  If you would to have just read that previous line, I bet the last thing you thought about was cookie dough.

Anyways, I love making cookies.  I make these homemade oreos and let me tell you... ALL my friends refer to them as crack cookies (NOTE: they do not actually contain crack; just ecstasy. JUST KIDDING..but seriously...).  I personally call them "Sex cookies" because it's like an orgasm in your mouth.  They are seriously that good.  THAT AWESOME.  They are pretty much indescribable except for the guilty "sins of the flesh" that we all know to secretly love, but besides that they are my favorite cookies to bake.  You can use food coloring to dye the frosting and make them festive! For graduation I made purple and yellow icing (yes, my school colors were purple and yellow..talk about an obnoxious freshman yelling in your face....).  They are quite the hit everywhere I go.  They are pretty much the "IT" cookie.

Continuing with the high school example, I would use them as objects for bribery for my section in marching band (Alto Sax; represent!)  I would tell them that I would bake them cookies ONLY if they had they elbows parallel to the ground.

That is what I mean, because I know many other high schools did not have this type of position, but I preferred it because it makes you look.. snazzy and angular.  Anyways, it won over my section and they pretty much became my slaves.

Moral of the story?

Cookies=Social Win.