Bruises

Before I start anything meaningful, I am totally making a toaster oven specialty... grilled cheese with TWO cheeses.  That is half of my calcium for the day (night)!  Take that nutrition!

I must be the perfect bruising human.  

I swear, I walk and get bruises on my knees FROM my knees.

Does that happen to anyone else? I feel as if I use my body for its intentions.  I move my joints so I can in turn move from one place to another. Which somehow turns into receiving bruises that seem to appear out of thin air.

I currently have 10 bruises on my body.  3 are accounted for and are located on my right arm (I was playing/wrestling my dog...she's the fattest and cutest dog ever).  The other 7 are on various spots on my legs.  Some are even right near where the thigh reaches the pelvis.  Seriously?  Did I get raped and not known about it?

If I did get raped, where did this occur? A better question, when did this occur?

Is there an invisible rapist who doesn't know how to rape?  Can he/she be stopped?  Will they ever learn to properly rape? 

Anyways, moral of the story: bruises like me.  I must be appetizing, like tacos.