Awkward Conversation

Do you know what I hate? When I run into professors/teachers etc in public places.  It is that moment in time were you see them first you go "oh shit" and then hide and try to avoid their gaze so you don't have to make that awkward conversation that most people like to go through. OR, they spot you first and you can't run away.  All in all, it makes the experience horrible and unbearable because you HAVE to go through the awkward rituals of saying "Hello" and "How are you?" and acting like you give a damn when in reality, they could probably lose a finger and you would not be moved in the slightest.

It can all start with one second of eye contact.  That is the point of no return.  Looking at their eyes and them looking at yours and that moment of recognition where your brain is all "HEY I KNOW THIS INDIVIDUAL...LET'S MAKE AWKWARD CONVERSATION WITH THIS MOTHER FUCKER", and then they talk to you because they want to 'see how you're doing' and just saying 'hi'.

Either way, moral of the story; I am sitting in the Union typing this and watching The Office (best fucking show ever) and I am currently in view with my band director who is psychotic and the biggest asshole ever.  He thinks he is worthy of praise and adoration simply because he may or may not be a saxophone god and hot shit.  Not going to lie.. he is mildly attractive, but his total lack of disrespect for others is such a turnoff that it is almost like his attractiveness is negative.  Which, I don't know how that is even possible (unless you smell bad, smells are pretty important in attraction) considering I would probably do him.

Anyways, I dislike this man extremely and I am 45% sure he did not see me.. the only reason why I say he didn't is so low is because I pretty much walked right in-front of him but we did not make eye contact.  Plus, since he is an absolute DICK HEAD he would ignore me like I ignore him because he thinks he is better than me.  I guess it works out though because I did not have to make awkward conversation with him.

I guess this was an example of awkward conversation winning. Sweet.


p.s. Sorry for the lack of pictures.. I am kinda lazy, don't know how to draw pictures for this topic, and need to get my TB test read in like 20 minutes.  Yup.

Tanning

I was watching a youtube video the other day about how to "Trick People Into Thinking You're Good Looking" (by JennaMarbles, definitely check it out!) and laughed my butt off.  One thing she mentioned is that you need to become really, tan and you look better looking.

Ever since then I've been debating about doing something to my appearance.

Whether it be dying my hair or tanning or a tattoo, I do not know yet.  Whatever is cheapest is what I will probably do.  Which would be dying my hair, but I want my hair to be this color for a friends wedding so I guess the next option is tanning.

Tanning.

I can feel my skin cells cry in agony over the super efficient amounts of Vitamin D they are getting with the horrifying effects of burning.  It's what happens when you are part ginger kid.  The bright side is I get more freckles when I get "tanner" (which is really just me being less albino).  I like freckles, they are all like "weee I'm fun little spots of color that would be normal skin pigmentation but I decided to be sporadic and be everywhere!!!"  Yup, thats how it's like.

Anyways, I decided upon tanning.  I'm kinda poor so I am debating against a professional tanning salon where I can get the aforementioned burning, or self-tanners that are like lotions/sprays that get everywhere whenever I touch something.

I have decided to try these sprays and lotions out.

I am nervous and excited.  I don't wanna be orange, or noticeably darker, just.. not albino.

Like, I mean, albino is cool in the winter because you can use it as camouflage and be like "I am one with the snow" but it is all sunny now, and I like playing tag at night and when you glow in the dark because you're albino, you kinda lose.  I am not a fan of losing.

The next choice is either lotion or sprays. I figure I will probably go to Meijer and decide (and buy more coffee, because I'm not getting work done with out it) and read every bottle they have and base my decision of price, and fastness. Even though those are the worst ways, EVER, to make decisions.

Let this be known, I am trying to save my skin cells right now, they should thank me. Plus I'm just a cheap bitch.

I will let you know how my adventures with the self-tanner goes. As long as I don't turn into a pseudo-oompa loompa I am totally fine with it.

Cookies

Cookies are pretty much amazing.  They are small servings of a dessert in a compact and portable fashion.  Their convenience is only part of their luxury.  How many times have you grabbed a cookie when you were heading out of a room or your house?  If this were a class room, I expect everyone to be raising their hand.  Or no one to be, as it is a rhetorical question.  Either way, if you have never done this, you have not lived.

Eating cookies on the go is a favorite past time of mine.  Whether it be out the door or just to another location in the house.  Also, it is mandatory to put a cookie in your mouth and another cookie when you leave the kitchen.  It is the whole concept of "one for the road".  I guess, this can be seen as a simple-minded American being a fatty, but oh well.  I rather do enjoy eating cookies.

I love making cookies almost as much as eating them.  I love eating the batter, there's just something about the batter that is about ten times better than cake batter (it's not better than brownie batter, however, NOTHING beats that shit.. and by "shit" I mean it in the cool "that's the shit" kind of way, not the literal meaning...).  I think it is because it can be molded into a ball of pleasure for your taste buds and then it just gets all warm and gooey in your mouth.  If you would to have just read that previous line, I bet the last thing you thought about was cookie dough.

Anyways, I love making cookies.  I make these homemade oreos and let me tell you... ALL my friends refer to them as crack cookies (NOTE: they do not actually contain crack; just ecstasy. JUST KIDDING..but seriously...).  I personally call them "Sex cookies" because it's like an orgasm in your mouth.  They are seriously that good.  THAT AWESOME.  They are pretty much indescribable except for the guilty "sins of the flesh" that we all know to secretly love, but besides that they are my favorite cookies to bake.  You can use food coloring to dye the frosting and make them festive! For graduation I made purple and yellow icing (yes, my school colors were purple and yellow..talk about an obnoxious freshman yelling in your face....).  They are quite the hit everywhere I go.  They are pretty much the "IT" cookie.

Continuing with the high school example, I would use them as objects for bribery for my section in marching band (Alto Sax; represent!)  I would tell them that I would bake them cookies ONLY if they had they elbows parallel to the ground.

That is what I mean, because I know many other high schools did not have this type of position, but I preferred it because it makes you look.. snazzy and angular.  Anyways, it won over my section and they pretty much became my slaves.

Moral of the story?

Cookies=Social Win.

Valentine's Day

Considering I haven't written in an eternity.. what better way than to commemorate Valentine's Day.

A short history (details from wikipedia):

It happened during some time long ago during something-Chaucer's time.  It was a result of the open romantic courting affairs.  Such as sending flowers.

The end.


Yeah.. I just read maybe half a paragraph before I realized I did not want to actually read anything for fun.

Instead, let me explain my thoughts about this day.

Personally, I hate it.

First off, I see it as my dad's birthday...so it is weird seeing every other person receive overly expensive gifts for "no good reason".

Second, you shouldn't need a set aside day to tell someone you love them.  Or buy them super, uber, overly expensive gifts.

Third, if this person truly loves you you wouldn't need to buy them anything. Or prove to them you love them which everyone takes this day for.

It's not that I'm saying love doesn't exist or anything; it is just over-rated how much hype this day gets.

I don't understand why people need to go out of their way to prove to someone they love them.  Just be yourself.  If the person doesn't love you back, they aren't meant to be with you and you can do better.

Whatever. People usually think I'm hateful and alone that's why I hate it. Really, that's not why. I have legitimate reasons.


Anyways.. short post. I'm sorry I haven't been procrastinating from my hw to write.. I've been procrastinating from this.

Can you forgive me?
I promise to do better.

Maybe something with pictures.

Toes

I was showering this morning and made a horrific discovery.

My pinky toes are incredibly small compared to my other toes.

I feel like I can't even walk anymore because of how tiny they are compared to my other toes.  Then, my other toes are horribly disfigured and bend naturally.  I've told my mom and all she has to say is "I always bought you new shoes when you said your toes were crammed.. I even made sure your shoes fit properly."  Well mom, I guess your attention to detail is faltered because my toes are bent and my pinky toes are too short for any use in the real world.  This makes me come to the conclusion...

I have ugly toes.

No matter how many different colors I paint them they will still remain as ugly as ever.  Even if I give them a nice foot bath with bath salts and marbles and warm water, nothing.  If they had a hot-or-not for toes, mine would be in last place.

On the bright side, however, it is winter and in winter you wear socks so your feet and toes do not get cold.  I have approximately .... 3 or 4 months to get cute toes.  This is more important than bikini season preparation.  You can always lose weight..but can you really cute-ify your toes?  ... I JUST REALIZED I CAN'T MAKE MY TOES CUTER.

I guess I need to start a fund to find the cure for disfigured, ugly toes.

If any one has any suggestions, such as selling cupcakes or something, let me know.  I only have 3 months until warm weather starts maybe appearing in Michigan.

Blankets

I guess since I have no homework to procrastinate I can't write blog posts.

I mean.. I've been thinking about it.. but nothing has inspired me enough to draw pictures or write.

I really like blankets.  Like... obsessed with blankets.  Giant, fuzzy blankets.  The kind you can get enrobed in and cuddle up and just be.. ahhh comfy.

I would make sweet love with some blankets.

I got a blanket for Christmas.  It almost makes me forget about my wisdom teeth pain, almost (by the way, I did get them removed.. I might write a post AFTER this one about that.. I have some funny texts I can put on the internet to completely embarrass myself with...).

It is giant, teal, fuzzy, warm, oh my gosh I can't even use all the adjectives in the world to describe my feeling I have for my new blanket.

It is like frolicking through a field of flowers in warm emu boots wrapped in a shawl of lamb fur/wool with candy.

THAT GOOD.


I'm surprised I don't shower with blankets.. I am always in a blanket. If I could I would totally bring it with me to work and to class. I am going to bring this blanket everywhere I go.  It is totally a security blanket.  Not gonna lie.  It is.

If something happened to it I might cry.

I would cry.

I would hold a funeral.

I hope this blanket never dies, I love it soo much.

It is my temporary boyfriend.

I'm happy with it..it loves me more than any man would.

Okay, this was dumb... the next post will be better..without me being pissed off at my mouth for hurting.  Ouch.

Until next time!?..!?...?

Finals and Bdubs

I actually wrote this post last Wednesday (December 8th) but I haven't had time to post it until now..when I actually should be studying Econ.. but I figured, well you guys needed something to read before buckling down and getting your soul eaten by final exams.

This whole “college thing” is eating my life.  I’ve been studying all the time for what seems like an eternity, but really that means since this past Sunday.   I’ll be done next weds, however. I am so excited. 

Mainly because I am extremely tired and all that I want to do right now is draw pretty pictures…

and eat bacon cheeseburgers.

But as for tonight I have to study my butt off, but before that...I’m going to Bdubs.

Buffalo Wild Wings for those of you who are not remotely cool enough to understand short abbrevs from words (that means abbreviations). Is the best restaurant ever.  Is it overrated?  Yes, but I am in love with the Mango Habanero hot sauce on their boneless chicken wings.  It is like a sweet but uber spicy to the point of pain (and numbing lips) type of sauce that completely arouses the senses.  I get excited just thinking about eating them.  I would marry that sauce, I wouldn’t be able to kiss it, but it’d be tasty sweet wedlock.

My friend, Anna, has not been to a Bdubs. EVER. After hearing this distressing news I decided to write a contract in order to prove that we must go.  Our friend, Ashley, is coming too, because we are all pretty awesome and do not want to lose awesomeness by not going (as said by the contract).  Ashley and I have taken it as our duty to induct Anna (or take away her Bdubs virginity; either or) into the awesome world which is Buffalo Wild Wings.

Ashley and I have prepared for this very night by purchasing a specific silly bandz collection, two actually.  I, in all seriousness, loathe silly bandz.  I just cannot stand them, but, these silly bandz are the best I’ve ever seen and therefore I must purchase them and wear them with my friends.

The silly bandz that were purchased were sex position collection and penis collection.  Yup, I am highly immature and think they are the greatest thing on Earth.  Yup, penises are hilarious.  Sex positions are hilarious too.  I now am lucky enough to obtain 6 penis related silly bandz and 6 sex position silly bandz on my wrist as I type.  Basically… you should be jealous.

The plan is:  we go study, go to Bdubs, and then wear our new naughty silly bandz proudly and giggle secretly by feeling bad ass and like a rebel.

All the while eating Mango Habanero boneless wings.

Why can’t everyday be like today?