A Migraine Is Your Brain's Way of Saying It's Being Raped. Repeatedly.

I achieved my non-existent goal of receiving a migraine headache yesterday.  Worst experience of my life.

I didn't know what raping of my brain felt like until that moment.

I was just in the  bathroom, minding my own business, when all of a sudden I heard a weird, metallic, ringing sound.  Then, INSTANT PAIN in the back of my head.  With an addition of black, fuzzy vision.  I was thinking "What is going on?! I'm not drunk! What is this trickery? Am I having a stroke? Am I going to die? WHY ME?!?!?!!??"  It was a horrifying moment. I didn't know whether I caused this obnoxious hurting, or if it sprang upon me. I was pissed. I was having a great day, then BAM, my brain is getting raped.  Hardcore rape.  The rape where they take you, but think you like S&M and then attack you and saying "Yeah.. you LIKE THAT DON'T YOU. SUCK IT."  That was what was happening. No lie.  Minus my brain wanting the pain.

After the initial shock of "OH my sweet lord! I'm having a stroke?..!", I decided to stand up.  Was that a big mistake, the right side of my body was like "FAILURE" and decided to not move how I wanted to.  My fine motor control skills were gone, I could move in a general fashion..but actually moving gracefully? No, I walked like I had a cast on my leg and I had no crutches. And I was being laughed at.

I walk out of the bathroom and manage to fall against every wall.  I had terrible visions of falling on the ground and not being able to be saved until the Roommate came back from class at noon-thirty.  I thought of all the time she had between her next class to drive me to the emergency care unit in case it was a stroke.. or death.

I slam my hand against the chair trying to steady myself, but I must've hit it harder than I thought because my hand hurt real bad. Imagine smacking your hand against a brick because you thought you were bitch-slapping a marshmallow. Yeah, just like that.

Here is what is wrong with me at this point:
1. I can't really see.
2. The right side of my body turned stupid.
3. My head hurt like an S&M rape (minus my pleasure).
4. And now my hand hurts because I was not capable of grabbing a chair but rather smacked it instead.

I manage to lay on our "couch" (it's really a futon from Wal-mart; I'm fancy, I know.) with my knees bent and my arm over my face.  I was waiting.  I don't know what for.  It was either for the Roommate or for my headache to go away so I could eat or death.  However, my headache made me nauseous to the idea of food.  A couple of minutes later I decided to WebMd it to figure out what was going on... could I type? NO.  My fingers were mocking me as I tried to type the words "intense, random headache" into Google.  Eventually, after pressing all the wrong keys, I converted back into the aforementioned position.

I must've passed out/fell asleep, because I look at my phone and it says noon-thirty. HOORAY! The Roommate will be home soon.  I go to my room (able to walk a little better, still stumbling) and lay down in my bed. (After thinking about this... I don't understand why I migrated to my room... wouldn't I want to stay out in the living room just in case I died so the Roommate could easily identify I was dead?)  I set my alarm for about one-forty.  I hear the Roommate come home, make lunch, do some weird thing to the slider, and watch Family Guy.  I don't think I was fully conscious, but conscious enough to know what episode of Family Guy it was. (It was "Dammit, Janet" in case anyone cares.)

My alarm goes off, I meander back out to where she was and tell her what was going on, and how I felt like I was going to die.  She said something nurse-ee and relevant.  I don't remember what, but it could've been right.  I tried to make lunch, I wasn't hungry but it seemed like a good idea.  Then I told her I'd come back out when the buzzer went off but I was going to lay down for a bit.

Some 10 minutes later, theres a knock at our door and the Roommate ends up talking to some creeper who is selling magazines.  He pretty much invites himself in to use our table (which is cluttered, how he did not see this I don't know..he probably had a migraine too).  She doesn't know he is selling magazines to her until he parades inside and uses our table top.  I try to stay alert, in case the guy goes all REAL rapist and rapes her.  I could always be a ninja and produce a sneak attack and kick him in the gnads.  He would be sorry for looking at OUR table and inviting himself in.  

Sometime later, after hearing him try to badly sell (and flirt) his way to promote his lame magazines (golf? really?), the timer goes off to the oven.  So, I regretfully, have to get out of my bed and go out there in my pj's and take my meal (that I don't even eat) out of the oven.  He asks how I am, and I blatantly reply back "I'm dying" and go back to my room.  Sometime later (maybe 5 or 6 minutes), the Roommate comes in and asks me a question, pretty sure about magazines.  I say no.  We talk about how creepy he is, and she leaves and tells him to go because I'm puking my brains out (not really, but mention puke and people get all creeped out and want to leave ASAP).  He FINALLY leaves, and she comes back in and tells me about whatever was going on.  

I honestly don't remember what was happening. My head was throbbing.  She leaves, and I sleep for about 3 hours. Wake up and try to do homework but no, my head is still being raped.  It's a gentle rape this time, so I am able to read a bit.

Of course, I have band class.  Of course, there's a basketball game so I am late and end up parking a ways out.

Still have my headache.  Trumpets and percussion are not headache friendly.

Go to study group, and head hurts because that class sucks.

Go back to apartment and stay up late (gentle head raping still happening) and finally go to bed around 2 am.

I wake up this morning... MY HEAD IS STILL HURTING.  WHAT IS THIS?!?!?

Basically, I had a headache for 20 hours.

It is not a fun time.  I wouldn't wish it on my enemies.  Maybe.

So now I'm headache free!!!

YAY! I like not being raped mentally.

Migraines suck.  The end.