There is one restaurant that has a variety of hamburgers/cheeseburgers with immense amounts of bacon. And bacon in brownies and bacon in a milk shake. Apparently chocolate and bacon are the best combination in the world.
Ever since I watched that show I've been compulsively obsessed with bacon. Instead of going black Friday shopping I probably ate 5 pieces of it for breakfast... I know that does not seem like a copious amount of bacon..but considering what bacon is made of?.. Ohh yeah, it is a lot.
During a random introduction of the show they showed all the different ways bacon is being used/eaten (to basically explain the purpose of the show.. with the name "Bacon Paradise" I feel like it would be hard to misconstrue...). They showed a bacon bikini. I want a bacon bikini.
I have come up with 10 reasons why I need a bacon bikini.
1. It's bacon.
2. If you ever get stranded because you took a tour with Gilligan and the Skipper.. you can use it for nourishment until you get rescued by people who know how to use a boat.
3. Lure men. It's proven by Taco Bell commercials that the near smell of bacon will have loads of gorgeous, hunky men at your beck and call.
5. It's a modern fashion statement.
6. It is relatively cheaper than normal bikini's.
7. Eco-friendly.
8. Resistant to water.
9. If you get attacked by the shark, you can just throw your bikini at it and get away safely. The shark will be distracted by the bacon and not eat you.
10. It's bacon...IN BIKINI FORM.
That's right, "it's bacon" is listed twice. Want to know why? Being bacon is double-ee important in the matter. Nothing can describe why bacon is as awesome as it is. It is just because it is bacon. The very essence of bacon is indescribably intoxicating and rewarding. Thus, it has to be listed twice.
Bacon bikini.. it IS the future.
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